'Tis the Season

I've had this song stuck in my head since Friday, so I thought I would share it. It seems especially appropriate today, as Madison is seeing the season's first light dusting of snow (we had some flurries last month, but nothing that accumulated).

At first, I assumed the video creator was not from around here, since "ShopKo" (a discount store chain headquartered in Green Bay and found in the Upper Midwest) is misspelled, as is "Negaunee" (a city in the Upper Peninsula), but since they also misspelled "cheer" and "Santa Claus" I can't really make any geographic assumptions. I traded in my own rusty Chevrolet last year for a newer used Ford, and it's been many years since I've driven a car as beat-up as the one described in the song, but this always brings back memories of skidding on the snow back when I was a much less experienced and responsible driver.

Little Drummer Boy

Reminding us that the best Christmas gifts are those of our time and talents, here is the late, great Johnny Cash.


Merry Christmas everyone, and Happy Festivus.

'Tis Almost the Season

I'm not yet in the mood to write new posts about the post-Thanksgiving holidays and/or the War on Christmas. However, I see by the decorations in the mall and the ads on television for "Black Friday" sales that people are starting to think about it.  So, for those who want a jump start, feel free to revisit these posts from last year:

A Brief History of Christmas

A Brief History of Christmas, Part 2

Alternative Holiday Signs

Here's a bonus War on Christmas trivia question: name the insurgent who led a successful raid against an occupying army on Christmas Day, taking advantage of their holiday hangover.

Good King Wenceslas

In honor of St. Stephen's Day, here's one more holiday favorite, sung by the Irish Rovers.

A Brief History of Christmas Part 2 -- Christmas in America

After the Protestant Reformation, Christmas celebrations in non-Catholic nations became much more sober and church-based, shedding much of the trappings of the ancient solstice festivals which the early church had absorbed. The Puritans did not celebrate Christmas at all, since there was no biblical basis for a December celebration, and they considered it nothing but Popery (not far from paganism, in their view). To this day, some Protestant sects (notably the Seventh Day Adventists) do not celebrate Christmas.

The New England colonies were largely founded by Puritans, and some had laws on the books in the 17th century forbidding Christmas celebrations. Most colonists, however, followed mainstream English post-reformation Christmas traditions.

The German states did not shed their old Yule traditions, keeping their tannenbaums and hot mulled wine. During the American Revolution, England employed Hessian mercenaries to help subdue the rebellious colonists. General George Washington was an educated man who knew that the Hessians would have a raucous celebration on Christmas Eve. He led his troops across the semi-frozen Delaware River and attacked the Hessians' quarters on Christmas Day, while they were hungover from their traditional Christmas Eve overindulgence. It was a significant victory for the Continental Army.

Although the American states became politically independent from England, we continued to evolve together culturally. When Victoria became Queen of England in 1837, she was courted by (and soon married) her German cousin, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. Albert brought German Christmas traditions to the royal court, and it became fashionable for everyone in England (and eventually in the United States as well) to have a Christmas tree.

Merry Christmas to you and your family, no matter how you choose to celebrate it.

Christmas Island

I couldn't find an actual performance video of this song, which is a shame. It's a favorite in my family, and it expresses both my love of early 20th century American musical styles and my longing for tropical climes at this time of year.

Although, to be honest, I'd rather spend Christmas in Hawaii or Tahiti than Christmas Island.

A Very Liberace Christmas

My younger readers may not remember Wisconsin native Liberace. He was a talented classical pianist who was also a flamboyant showman. Not since Sally Rand had a performer so successfully turned a highbrow art form into lowbrow entertainment.

Here is the musician who dressed like a human Christmas tree all year round playing a Christmas medley:

The Christmas Song

For me, this song will always belong to Johnny Mathis. Here's a performance from 1974 -- which should be obvious from the loud plaid jacket and wide striped tie he is wearing. His voice soars above the ugly fashions, though.

Santa Baby

Here's a fantastic performance by the late, great Eartha Kitt. She really brought it in response to Madonna's cover. Her voice was like a hot buttered rum.

Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

Here is the great Darlene Love's 1995 appearance on David Letterman's show (an annual tradition that is possibly Letterman's greatest gift to our nation).


The song is more poignant 15 years later, as so many of our loved ones are still overseas serving in Iraq or Afghanistan. Please come home, K.

Jingle Bells

Here's more seasonal fun, from the Secretary of Retro, Brian Setzer. I'm pretty sure that snow is fake, though. That's probably why he had to substitute a '57 Chevrolet for the one-horse open sleigh.

Alternative Holiday Signs

I've always found the "Keep Christ in Christmas" signs to be a little weird.  They seem more like political campaign signs than proselytizing. They also reveal an ignorance of the actual origin of Christmas traditions.

My attitude may have been shaped by the fact that, in our neighborhood, the guy who put out the KCiC sign every year was the same one who spent the summer telling all of his neighbors when and how they should mow their lawn and tend their garden (he always had an emphatic opinion about home repair projects, too).

For the Christmas Originalists, Heathens, Secular Humanists and ancient history buffs out there, here are some fun alternative holiday signs that you can print out and display if you are so inclined.

A Brief History of Christmas

It's getting to the time of year when a certain segment of the religious right -- the folks who think simple faith is preferable to studying theology and their own church history -- start whining about "The War on Christmas."  You will hear them complain about Neopagans and Secular Humanists co-opting Christmas for their own holiday celebrations.  Some of them will make statements about Christmas trees being inappropriate for anyone but Christians (or with any other name but Christmas tree).

There is no language in the gospels indicating that Jesus of Nazareth was born in December. In fact, the only seasonal clue -- the shepherds keeping watch over their flocks at night -- would seem to indicate that the nativity took place in the Spring, during lambing season (the only time of year in which shepherds spend the nights in the fields with their flocks).

Most cultures have some sort of celebration that is tied to the Winter Solstice.  The minor Jewish festival of Channukkah is overtly called "the festival of lights" and its theme is light lasting longer than expected.  The Jews' Roman occupiers celebrated Saturnalia, a multi-day festival that included family gatherings, feasting and the giving of gifts.

In addition to the official Roman state religion, many Roman soldiers practiced Mithraism, a mystery religion (meaning its doctrines were kept secret from all but the highest-level initiates) that originated in Persia. Our knowledge of Mithraism is sketchy (since it was a mystery religion that completely died out in ancient times), but we know it involved a god named Mithras who was born on the Winter Solstice and later sacrificed a celestial bull to save mankind from the darkness.

When Christianity became an official State religion of the Roman Empire, it began to compete openly with the existing pagan religions for followers.  Forcing people to give up their cherished holiday traditions is no way to win converts.  Thus, the church decided that Jesus was born on December 25 (the Bible didn't directly say otherwise, after all), and declared that the faithful could celebrate the Nativity with a Christ Mass and feast. The Saturnalia traditions were largely absorbed into the 12-day Christmas celebrations (culminating with Epiphany, which commemorates the visit of the Magi with their fabulous gifts).

Northern European pagans had their own Solstice celebrations.  The Scandinavian and German peoples burned a Yule log to represent the returning sunlight and brought evergreen trees (tannenbaums) inside, because they defy winter by remaining lifelike rather than dropping their leaves.  When Christian missionaries proselytized among the northern tribes, they let them keep their old traditions, attaching them to the new Christmas celebrations.

After about 1500 years, Christmas traditions are indeed venerable.  However, it is ignorant to assume that Christians have a monopoly on December celebrations, or that non-Christians have no right to decorate evergreen trees and exchange gifts.


In December, I will wish my family and Christian friends a Merry Christmas (or Feliz Navidad or Mele Kamikimaka, depending on my mood and how much I am longing for the tropics).  I will wish my Jewish friends and relatives a Happy Channukah.  I will wish my pagan friends and relatives a Good Yule.  And to everyone, I will wish Happy Holidays (because no matter which of the above holidays we celebrate, most of us celebrate New Year's Eve as well).

Spending Smartly This Holiday Season

As the holiday shopping season gets into gear, remember that buying cheap goods made in China contributes to our trade imbalance, the "creative destruction" of American jobs, and global carbon emissions (both from coal-burning power plants in China and from the container ships transporting the raw materials and finished products across the ocean).

It's almost impossible to avoid buying products made wholly or partly overseas.  However, if you are willing to make the effort to buy American where you can, this website is very useful.  With so many of our friends and neighbors out of work, the holidays will be merrier if you support local businesses as much as possible. Buy books and DVDs from a bricks-and-mortar store rather than online (if you sign up for coupons, it can be just as cheap). Give gift certificates for services.  Your grandmother doesn't need more perfume or dust-collecting knick-knacks, but she might enjoy a day of pampering at a salon or day-spa, or a dinner with the family at a nice restaurant.  Studies have shown that people who spend their money on experiences rather than things tend to be happier.

Many of us make charitable contributions during the holiday season. There are a great many very worthy charities that do a lot of good with those contributions.  There are also charities that spend more money on fundraising than they do on the programs that help those in need. The American Institute of Philanthropy does an excellent job of researching charities and helping donors get the most bang for their buck.  Their website lists top-rated charities in a variety of categories.  For a small donation, you can subscribe to their Charity Rating Guide, which gives more detailed information about how much various charities spend on fundraising and administration versus services.

Finally, if you are starting to make 2011 vacation plans, think seriously about visiting Las Vegas or New Orleans.  Both are terrific cities for visitors, and both have been hit harder by the recession than many other places. Las Vegas was ground zero for the real estate bubble, and New Orleans' fishing and offshore drilling industries took a big hit after the Deepwater Horizon explosion, just as the area was beginning to bounce back after Katrina.  Both places can be affordable vacation destinations if you avoid their peak tourist season and patronize the restaurants that target locals rather than tourists.

Wisconsin Threat-Down for Santa's Reindeer

Threat Number 5 - Cougars. A DNR camera photographed a cougar in Dunn County last week. The big cat recently killed a whitetail fawn, which it stashed under a pile of cornstalks and periodically returned to munch on. A reindeer could feed that cat for a month. However, a full grown male reindeer weighs between 220-700 lbs., much too big for a cougar to take down. Not much of a threat.

Threat Number 4 - Wolves. Some hunters in northern Wisconsin blame the state's increasing wolf population for this year's poor deer harvest. It's true that wolves are very good at hunting deer, and some wolves have been known to kill even moose. However, wolves are opportunistic hunters, and even a reduced whitetail population offers them much easier opportunities than eight healthy reindeer who will stand their ground together (since they are all harnessed to the sleigh). Not much of a threat.

Threat Number 3 - Bears. Because no threat-down would be complete without bears, and Wisconsin's bear population is growing. But black bears rarely prey on adult deer, so they are not really a threat to Santa's reindeer.

Threat Number 2 - Hunters. There is a holiday deer hunting season in the CWD management zone from December 24 through January 3. Santa may want to outfit his reindeer with blaze orange vests just in case they are still out after sunrise. While reindeer are visually distinct from whitetail deer, the occasional hunter with buck fever has been known to shoot an elk or even a cow, so better safe than sorry.

Threat Number 1 - Snowmobile Thrill Killers. Unfortunately, the law has not done enough to deter this despicable practice. Santa should take advantage of J. B. Van Hollen's published opinion and openly carry a firearm (loaded with lumps of coal) in his sleigh for personal (and reindeer) protection.